Perspective is defined as point of view or a way of regarding situations. I previously believed that perspective was only what you see in a specific moment with the influence of the past, timing, and circumstance. I have now come to realize that perspective is not fixed. Instead, it can be a state of mind - we can change the way we perceive things to accommodate what we want to feel during a specific situation. This may seem unnatural, but I feel that we do this subconsciously, thus making it a natural response.

I went to church this morning with my family, and it happened to be the memorial for the priest’s wife. She died at age 37. Can you imagine losing the love of your life at that age? Relationships are vicious cycles that do a number on your self esteem. You meet someone new, get attached, get hurt, move on, and then you meet someone new again. It must be a beautiful thing to finally be able to break that cycle and find the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. I don’t mean to sound like a hopeless romantic, but I can’t fathom how horrible the feeling of losing that person must be. Don’t get me wrong, I think relationships are wonderful, but it’s the cycle I dislike and I’m positive I’m not the only one with these feelings. There’s a great Woody Allen quote from the movie Annie Hall explaining the reasons we keep the cycle going: 

“It was great seeing Annie again and I realized what a terrific person she was and how much fun it was just knowing her and I thought of that old joke, you know, the, this, this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, ‘Doc, uh, my brother’s crazy, he thinks he’s a chicken,’ and uh, the doctor says, ‘well why don’t you turn him in?’ And the guy says, ‘I would but I need the eggs.’ Well, I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know, they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd and, but uh, I guess we keep going through it…because…most of us need the eggs.”

This may be interpreted sexually, but I think it’s far more than that. “Eggs” do not only refer to the physical desires, but the intimacy, love, and sheer happiness of having that someone in your life. A friend of mine once described this as the “light at the end of the tunnel.” I believe we are most complete and that our happiest moments occur when we have that person in our lives. Relationships will take you on a roller coaster of emotions, but you just have to hang on until the ride’s over so you can release the tension and walk away holding hands again, hoping that this time, you’re breaking the cycle. 

“She says that she would love to come help but the sea would electrocute us all. Nice dream, nice dream, nice dream.” <3

There’s a difference between being pretentious and deservingly confident, but you still have to be humble about it. You cannot excuse everything as being deservingly confident even if it is. True modesty is one of the beautiful characteristics a person can possess because of its rarity. 

“It was one of those days when it’s a minute away from snowing and there’s this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. Right? And this bag was just dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. That’s the day I realized that there was this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video’s a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember… I need to remember… Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can’t take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.” -American Beauty. 

Life would certainly be filled with many more aesthetic experiences if we all perceived the world this way…

I posted a quote a while ago, but I never wrote down my thoughts about it. A recent discussion with a friend got me thinking about it again. Here it is: 

“Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts.”

I hate the feeling of needing to say something to fill the silences. Why can’t we just accept that not every silence needs to be filled? Fear, that’s why. We know it’s more comfortable for both people if the silences are present, but we are too afraid to let it be. We are too afraid the silences will come with feelings of awkwardness and discomfort. But it’s far more special when a pair of friends can sit comfortably and enjoy each other’s presence without scrambling through their thoughts to keep the conversation going. That’s when you’ve reached a point in your relationship with that person during which you don’t feel the need to constantly have to please him or her because you know that person will still have a good time just being with you. Let’s face it – our lives are not that interesting. Sometimes there is simply nothing more to be said, and it’s better off to welcome the silence and not fill it with meaningless crap. A comfortable friendship is a wonderful thing that can only be achieved if both people are mature enough to embrace the silence.